Domino Topple #0000002

Tonight I'm setting in motion Topple #0000002.  The purpose:

Buy a stranger dinner - inspire random acts of kindness.  Pay it forward.

If you received domino #0000002 please let me know by posting a comment here.  This "registers" the domino so everyone can have fun watching this topple go down.

Then...  When you can, please keep the topple in motion by buying a stranger dinner and passing the domino on to them.  Who knows, maybe you're now part of something big!  It will be fun to watch this domino travel and see the stories that go with it. 

#0000002 is a very special topple.  It's the first of a handful that I will set in motion in the next month.  After these get started, I will then provide a way for other people to get numbered dominoes so they can start topples for their own purposes.

If you missed my previous post, the purpose for topple #0000001 is to set in motion 1 million more topples.  Currently I hold the only domino in the #0000001 topple, but I will be creating more #0000001 dominoes and passing them on to people who are helping me bring the Domino Theory concept to life.  Some of these people will be folks that have "tipped me over" and encouraged me to do this, and others will be people that are helping this initiative grow. 

So why did I choose "Buy a Stranger Dinner" as the second of 1 million topples?  Here's the story:

Several years ago my wife Terry and I were having dinner with some friends (Chad and Cindy: where are you guys?).  They told us about a time when someone anonymously bought them dinner and how that had  made a big impact on them.  A few months later, Terry and I were celebrating our first anniversary over dinner and decided to give it a try.  We've continued that tradition every year since (13 yrs.).  It's always a blast to watch people's reactions.   A few times the wait staff have "outed" us, which we find to be quite embarrassing.  Over the years we've become better at telling our helper how to keep things under wraps.  A few tips if you plan to do this:

• pick someone that you can see without working too hard.  I promise you, they will try to figure out who bought them dinner.
• tell the wait staff that they should let the person/couple know at the end of their meal.  That way the people don't have to be uncomfortable for too long.  And now with the domino being part of the fun, have the staff hand them the domino when they tell them their meal has been paid for by someone else.
• we like to select someone that "feels" right.  Part of the fun is selecting the person/couple.  We've picked people because they "look": happy, lonely, had a long day, sharing a special meal with their kid, very in love with each other, etc.
• have the bill brought to your table with your normal bill (and don't forget to tip on both checks)
• tell the wait staff that this is a special occasion so you would really appreciate their assistance in keeping it a secret.  Hopefully they'll see the fun in all of it.

Domino Theory suggests that there are different kinds of topples.  Some take years to setup with a specific outcome in mind (#0000001 for example).  Others, like #0000002 are more about creating random chain reactions that make the world a happier, kinder place. 

After discussing it with Terry we both agreed that topple #0000002 was a perfect way to build off a tradition that has brought us so much enjoyment over the years.  It's not our anniversary tonight, but there's much to celebrate so here we go.   Tip.......

Comments

[clayton]

A cool idea!

[Brad Feld]

Topple #0000002 resulted in Amy and I deciding to adopt this as part of our life dinner ritual. When we go out to dinner on the first day of the month, we'll buy a random couple in the restaurant dinner. Topple on.

[Herb]

Brad,

That's great. A topple in motion! Please report back about how it goes.

Let's also talk about the idea of using some actual dominoes to see if we can track things. I will send you a domino #0000002, SN - 2. You can hold on to it, pass it on, or request more #0000002 dominoes and pass those on. I'll explain more about this idea when I write about visualizing the topples.

Also, I heard from a friend of mine (Kimberly) who tried buying dinner for a stranger and "it didn't go well." I've asked her to come post here and share her experience.

[Claire]

This evening I took my 22 yr. old son out to dinner at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. In a couple of weeks he will graduate from CU and I am so proud of him.

We had a great visit discussing his plans and we were waiting for the bill when one of the waiters apologized and sat down at the table with us. He explained that our dinner was an anonymous gift from other diners at the restaurant tonight. He said not to ask or push in any way to find out who treated us. Then he left us with the domino.

The persons who chose to pay for our meals couldn't possibly know how incredible their timing has been. This was such a lift after three very difficult days. Thank you so very much for this thoughtful treat for two strangers. [#0000002, SN-8]. Not sure if I've posted this in the right place, but I will most definitely carry this Domino idea forward!

[Herb]

Hi Claire,

I’m so glad you took the time to go to the website and leave a comment. When the message came in my family and I did “high fives” all around. We loved your story, and we’re happy to have been able to add to the celebration of your son’s graduation.

I’m not sure if you have a chance to explore the Domino Theory website much, but if you did, you may have noticed that I’m dedicating a lot of my time right now to thinking how chain reactions start, carry on, fail, etc. Buying dinner for a stranger is one “topple” of many I’m working on, and hopefully more to come once this catches one.

Please check back to the http://yoherb.typepad.com in the next day or so. I’m going to write about something amazing that happened at Carraba’s after you left.

As for keeping this topple alive, here’s what would be very cool:

- If have an opportunity to “pay it forward” please pass on the domino. Of course, it’s expensive to buy someone dinner, so if the timing isn’t right for you that’ OK. It’s just that if you do decide to do it, it would be fun to see that domino travel.

- I realize that the hand written message on the domino can smudge. I’m actually in the processes of manufacturing some dominoes that will engraved. If you’re up for it, I will send you one of these new dominoes in the next week or so, and you can keep the original one as a keepsake. I’m more than happy to mail it to you or drop it off somewhere.

I’m working to expand the website so that newcomers can just enter the number on the domino and see its history. I’m having a blast with all of this as you can tell.

There’s a lot to take in on the website. There's now a link in on the right hand side under "MORE INFO..." called "Topple Index" that provides links to the posts that start each topple. You'll see one for the dinner topple that you are now part of. That article also shares some ideas we’ve learned over the years as we’ve bought dinner for strangers.

If you keep looking around the website, you’ll see that I also wrote about the disappointment that came last time we bought someone dinner.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that by you following up and posting to the website, you have inspired me to continue my work on Domino Theory. I truly believe this might grow into something big that makes a impact on a lot of people. You are now part of this, thanks.

- Herb

[Claire]

My son and I were delighted. Leaving the restaurant, I immediately called a friend to tell her the story. She knew what a crazy week this is turning out to be and how special your generous gesture was for us.

The other part that I want to thank you for (and this is so important) is the lesson that my son has learned and experienced about the amazing impact of random acts of kindness. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[Tim Enwall]

I have received Dominos with the following Topple #0000002 serial numbers:
#0000002-12
#0000002-13

Will keep the blog posted as to the giving-side of these dominos at we kick off this chain...

[Herb]

Thanks Tim. I'm excited to see what happens with your dominoes! I'm working on a plan that involves having a bunch of dominoes tip all at once. But, I wouldn't wait for that. Set yours in motion when you have the feeling!

[Bryan Buus]

I now have Dominos with the following serial numbers:
#0000002-15
#0000002-16

#15 will stay with me (herb fat-fingered some of the writing on it, so I'll keep it as a memento), but I'll be sending #16 on its way soon!

[Andrew]

In Plettenberg Bay, S. Africa a young couple from NYC was having a romantic, fun dinner in the boutique hotel i was staying in. we ended up having an enjoyable short conversation. later, when they were paying their bill, i overheard that the hotel's credit card machine wasn't working and they did not have enough rand to pay. i decided to pay it forward and offered to buy their supper. They protested of course, but i insisted and told them about this pay it forward buy a stranger dinner concept. This doesn't fit herb's suggested anonymous approach, but the spirit is the same. I enjoyed it.
i don't think i was given an actual domino so i have no serial # for tracking.

[Herb Morreale]

Andrew,

How cool! A domino falls in Boulder, then Africa, then maybe in NYC. Any chance you got their email address? If so, we could send them a domino!