Bummer

Well, it's been 7 days since we set topple #0000002 in motion.  I was hoping that by now the person that received the domino would have come to the blog and posted a comment.  But, this gives me an opportunity to write about "Bummers" in domino toppling.

A big part of Domino Theory is learning what works and what doesn't in chain reactions.  Topples require  energy to pass from one domino to the next.  And, depending on the "mass" of the next domino in the chain, sometime a great deal of energy is required. 

While not a complete list, I believe the following are the main causes for a chain reaction not continuing:

1. The "Purpose" of the topple wasn't compelling enough for the next person in the chain.  They might have expressed initial interest in helping with "the cause" or been and innocent bystander (like the person we bought dinner for).  For one reason or another they don't have the motivation to see the topple continue.  In fact, they might be opposed to the purpose of the topple, but not be willing to share that.
2. The person has trouble overcoming some kind of fear.  I could go on and on about how fear stops us from accomplishing so much.  But, for now, let's simply accept that people often get "hung up and worried" about taking initiative.  So, they might get tipped into in the topple but they don't tip over themselves. 
3. People are easily distracted.  How many voices are running through our heads on a daily basis?  And, do they ever shut up?  With all this "noise" it's easy to loose track of things.  So, let's say starts a topple associated with raising money for lung cancer, and they pass on a domino to someone that asks them to make a small donation and inspire others to do so.  It's easy to imaging that someone would say "sure" and then totally forget.  Of course, if they are highly motivated to help it's harder to get distracted, but as I said, with so many voices in the head it happens.
4. Some people feel that don't have the resources necessary to take the next step.   By resources I mean: time, money, information/knowledge.  Maybe the person will say to themselves, "I don't have the time right now."  Or, "I don't know anyone else that can help."  Or, "I want to help but I can't spare an extra money."  Often it just takes a little creative thinking to get around a lack of resources, but regardless when someone feels that they aren't equipped to set the next domino in the chain in motion they will hold back.

It would be easy to summarize some of this as "the person in the chain simply isn't motivated."  But, understanding what motivates and inspires another person is part of learning how to be a better toppler. In other words, tipping dominoes is about leadership.   By leadership I mean: inspiring and motivating others to accomplish what they have decided for themselves is a worthwhile endeavor.  We've all felt it before - powerful leadership creates energy.  More leadership = more energy = more likelihood the topple continues.

So, a big part of Domino Theory is accepting that things NEVER go exactly as planned.  Therefore, we have endless opportunities to examine our efforts, make adjustments, and then try again.  It's about learning how to become more effective over time at setting big things in motion.  And, at the same time understanding that we won't always really know how if the topple stopped, or if it's just moving in a way we didn't expect.

As I reflect back on setting #0000002 in motion, I can see now that I may not have passed on enough energy.  Using the the reasons I outlined above for why a chain reaction might stop, here are some potential problems:

• The purpose of #0000002 was: "Buy a stranger dinner - inspire random acts of kindness.  Pay it forward."  Of course, since nothing was said to the people that received the gift of a free dinner, how could they be compelled by the purpose unless they went to the URL on the domino?  And even then, for some people the purpose might not be interesting to them.  My wife suggested that we pass on a small card explaining the purpose so the person doesn't have to go to the website.  I like this idea, but at the time part of the fun for me was seeing what would happen.  In other words, I wasn't only focused on the purpose, but I was also deciding "how it would happen."  That's a big big trap. Part of setting things in motion is also letting go.  I should have pass on as much energy as possible, or admitted up front that the purpose has a "how" part and include it in the description.
• Image having your dinner bought by some stranger and then being given a domino with a handwritten URL on it.   For many people their first thought would be "OK, what strings are attached to this?"  Some people would actually be scared to go to a random website.    When we decided to pick the couple we did, we had a gut feeling that they might not be "computer types."  Who knows if that's the case or not, but we specifically thought about picking another younger couple that we figured was more tech savvy.  Another dimension of fear that might be involved is being afraid to post a comment to the blog.  "What should I say?  How do I do it?"  Fear is a huge energy sucker!
• It's possible that the couple thought it was a very nice random act of kindness, had planned to go to the website, and just forgot.  Maybe the domino is sitting at the bottom of one of their purses?  Without being able to reach out to the person in a topple like this it's not possible to send a "friendly reminder!"  So, we don't if they are temporizingly or permanently distracted.
• The possibilities for the lack of resources are definitely there.  No computer at home.  Not enough knowledge of how to interact with a blog like this.  "Too busy to worry about this."  Or, "I just don't get this, I'm supposed to do what?"  And the obvious one, "I don't have enough money to be buying strangers dinner." 

Today I'm specifically talking about topples that have stopped.   There are topples that appear to have stopped, but they are just going down slowly.  When setting up actual dominoes topples, artists often use dominoes of different shapes, sizes, spacing, etc. to increase/decrease speed of the topple.  That same concept applies to Domino Theory.

So, did topple #0000002 stop, or is just moving slowly?  No way to know yet.  I think I'll put another domino in motion for topple #0000002 - thinking about I can do to pass on more energy this time.  I might have another "bummer" on my hands, but I'll have fun learning.